They say that up at Bala
The diving’s mighty fine
Took up twenty trainees
And brought back only nine
Oh, I don’t want no more of river dives,
Gee Don I want to go
Dive in Ol’ Mexico
Gee Don I want to go home
Tuesdays in the Music Room
The lectures start in vain
For once you’ve learned the medical,
You’ll never dive again
Oh, I don’t want no more of baro squeeze
Gee Don I want to go
Dive in low H2O
Gee Don I want to go home
Training weekly in the pool
With ‘Doff and Don’ each time
The only secret of success
An air tank on behind
Oh, I don’t want no more of Tuesday nights
Gee Don I want to go
Back to Ontario
Gee Don I want to go home
They say that up at Toby
The Wetmore’s in good shape
I dove on it last summer
It’s flat as a pancake
Oh, I don’t want no more of broken wrecks
Gee Don I want to go
Back to La – ake Joe
Gee Don I want to go home
They say that doin’ the circuit
Will help you learn to dive
My only inspiration
Is learn to do it dry
Oh, I don’t want no more of swimming lengths
Gee Don I want to go
Back to Lake Sim – im – coe
Gee Don I want to go home
They say that on the dive boat
Be sure to watch at nine
Each night the moon will rise but
It breaks a pane each time
Oh, I don’t want no more of broken glass
Gee Don I want to go
Back to fresh H2O
Gee Don I want to go home
They say that diving Hart House
The pool is awfully clean
We trained in it this autumn
It really is obscene
Oh, I don’t want to more of hairy pools
Gee Don I want to go
Back to Etobicoke
Gee Don I want to go home
Each year there is a dinner
It comes about this time
With Blockheads all around you
It’s hard to count just nine
Oh I don’t want no more of concrete boots
Gee Don I want to go
Back to Galapagos
Gee Don I want to go home